judgement

我是一个很张扬的人，染头发，有唇钉。特立独行。我总是说自己不在乎别人的目光，但其实每一次别人对我的区别对待大街上无所畏惧的看着我都会让我异常烦躁难受。我总说坚持的做自己，但是每次别人看着我就把我定位成不良少女的时候，我都会纠结是否恢复成大众所想象的审美标准。做自己，有时候真的很难。有时候真的很难过。

I have been struggling with how to be "myself" for long time (almost no one where I grew up approved of being goth, piercings, dyed hair, or just being different; they said I was crazy and became violent), I find this very powerful. Society is very rigid, and their watchful eyes are always angrily judging.