修仙王--淮南王 刘安 白日炼丹打工人 夜间最强修仙王

白日炼丹打工人，晚上最强修仙王

--淮南王刘安充满魔幻的一生

刘安，大汉集团“淮南分公司”名义上的CEO，实则是个被架空的“空降高管”。他爹（前CEO刘长）因为和中央总部长安朝廷叫板失败，被“优化”出了大汉集团。大伯汉文帝念及亲情，把这快破产的分公司拆成三块，丢了一块给他。

别人当王爷是香车美人，刘安当王爷是KPI地狱。总部（尤其是他侄子汉武帝刘彻上位后）派的绣衣使者360度无死角盯着，日报周报月报写得比《淮南子》还厚。他唯一的慰藉，就是偷偷拉了个“摸鱼修仙小分队”——人称“八公”。

这八位可不是等闲社畜：有精通阴阳五行摸鱼大法的苏非，有能把加班汇报写成《山海经》般瑰丽PPT的李尚，有擅长用《道德经》论证带薪拉屎合理性的左吴，还有那个总爱在炼丹房鼓捣丹药的雷被。当然，也有野心勃勃、时刻想跳槽总部的伍被。

刘安带着他们，白天应付总部审计团的刁难，晚上就躲在“八公山项目基地”疯狂肝他们的终极项目——《淮南子》。

这个项目很牛逼啊！

核心思想是“无为而治”，他们梦想着用这套道家OS颠覆大汉集团陈腐的狼性文化。

然而，总部的“推恩令”更新包砸了下来——强制要求分公司股权拆解稀释（把封地分给所有儿子）。刘安的资源肉眼可见地缩水，团队人心惶惶。压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草，是那个想跳槽总部的伍被。他早就觉得跟着理想主义老板刘安没前途，暗中拿了总部HR的offer。

在一次方案评审会上，他把《淮南子》中的一句“圣人行不言之教”，曲解成了“老板准备搞小团体谋反！”，一封举报信直达大汉集团总部。

“谋反”的红头文件瞬间刷屏集团内网。总部HR-虎贲卫带着“优化通知书”兵临城下。刘安听着外面催命的砸门声，彻底麻了。

什么诸侯王，什么学术理想，此刻都成了个天大的笑话。他想起八公们摸鱼时瞎扯的“尸解仙”——假死脱身，逍遥物外。

在HR破门而入的瞬间，烟雾中刘安、几个忠心八公、甚至他养的那条狗狗和公鸡的身影一闪而逝，

只留下满屋焦糊味和一张被热浪吹起、飘然落地的A4纸，上面龙飞凤舞写着：

“与其内卷至死，不如早日修仙！”

Liu An, the nominal CEO of the Han Group's "Huainan Branch," was actually a powerless "parachuted executive." His father (the former CEO, Liu Chang) had been "optimized out" (fired) of the Han Group after a failed challenge to the Central HQ in Chang'an. Out of family pity, his uncle Emperor Wen of Han split the nearly bankrupt branch into three parts and tossed one to Liu An.

While other princes enjoyed luxury cars and beautiful companions, Liu An's princedom was KPI hell. HQ (especially after his nephew Emperor Wu of Han, Liu Che, took over) sent "Embroidered Uniform Enforcers" (auditors/spies) watching his every move. His daily, weekly, and monthly reports piled up thicker than the 

 itself. His only solace was secretly forming a "Slacking-off Immortal Cultivation Squad" – famously known as the Eight Masters.

These eight were no ordinary corporate drones: there was Su Fei, master of the Yin-Yang Five Elements Slacking-off Method; Li Shang, who could turn mundane overtime reports into 

-level fantastical PowerPoints; Zuo Wu, who skillfully used the 

 to justify paid bathroom breaks; and Lei Bei, always tinkering with elixirs in the alchemy lab. Of course, there was also the ambitious Wu Bei, constantly eyeing a jump to HQ.

Liu An led them, fending off the HQ audit team's hassles by day, while by night they holed up in the "Mount Bagong Project Base" frantically grinding away on their ultimate project – 

.

This project was 

!

Its core philosophy was "Governing by Non-Action" (

). They dreamed of using this Daoist OS to overthrow the Han Group's stale, cutthroat corporate culture.

However, HQ dropped the "Decree of Graceful Enfeoffment" update pack – mandating the fragmentation and dilution of branch equity (dividing the fief among all sons). Liu An's resources visibly shrank, and team morale plummeted. The final straw was the HQ-hopeful, Wu Bei. Long convinced that following the idealistic boss Liu An was a dead end, he had secretly accepted an offer from HQ HR.

During a project review meeting, he took a line from the 

 – "The Sage practices teaching without words" (

) – twisted it into "The boss is forming a clique to rebel!" and fired off a whistleblower report straight to Han Group HQ.

The "Rebellion" red-header document instantly flooded the company intranet. HQ HR – the Tiger Guard – arrived at the gates bearing a "Pink Slip Notification" (Optimization Notice). Hearing the life-demanding pounding on the door, Liu An went numb.

Prince of a state? Academic ideals? It all felt like one colossal cosmic joke. He remembered the "corpse liberation immortals" (

) – feigning death to escape, carefree beyond the material world – the Eight Masters had idly chatted about while slacking off.

As the HR team smashed the door in, amidst billowing smoke, the figures of Liu An, several loyal Eight Masters, even his pet dog and rooster flickered...

...and vanished.

Only the smell of scorching, a room full of chaos, and a single sheet of A4 paper remained, lifted by the heatwave, fluttering to the ground. On it, written in bold, flowing script:

"Better to cultivate immortality early than die in the rat race!"